Sex,lies and living.

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If I am to be remembered for anything, I want it to be for  being a woman who looked past the lies, simplified things and shared the love.

I don’t mean the everyday white lie – or even the big fat black lie that may occasionally be pulled out of the bag marked “get my ass out of trouble”. (Dire as the consequences may be) –  I mean the more pernicious, deeply-woven lies that invisibly affect our ability to enjoy the natural gifts of life.

The more I delve into this, the clearer it becomes to me, that the “Universe” (or the thing that keeps on doing and making the stuff we exist within, visible and invisible and including ourselves) presents us with two, yes, only two, problems to solve:-


1. How to fill the space we have.

2. How to use the time we have.


Question 1 is about  choosing priorities – and that answers question 2. If in doubt of what you are doing time-wise, refer to your Question 1 choices.



But as always, simple does not mean ‘easy’. Take the idea of ‘space’ for example. Space can mean your inner spaces – your stomach. Your lungs. Your  heart and your mind. Your room, your energy field, your mouth and choice of words,  your garden …. space is perhaps the ’emptiness’ within the containers that you or nature, has created. An emptiness that needs to be filled – and emptied – and re-filled. Meditation has shown me this time and again. I create an empty space by simply sitting and being with no expectation, and more and more creativity and insight come to me. Can come to anyone else too, I am certain.


Choices, choices, choices. You see, the only thing that really differentiates us from being dead – or as I would see it, pure, undifferentiated ether/spirit, are these two things. Time and space. Once we ‘poof’ back out of our bodies, we don’t get the benefit of these mighty  benefactors, tough friends though they can be.


And within our societies over time, many beliefs have been constructed about how you may, or may not, share these precious gifts. I mention sex because of the countless rules and taboos surrounding it – yet sex, the most powerful creative force we can imagine, is in fact, life wishing to create itself again and again, so yet more time and space can be experienced. Sex is for sharing, clearly (and I am not going to get into any semantic discussions about solo sex – that’s a kind of sharing in itself) and yet sex has been used as one of the most powerful ‘ball and chains’ in humanity. Sex has been exchanged for property since time immemorial. Sex is exchanged for  money, sex is exchanged for security, and for fidelity, security and succession. And yet sex is not love – it can be part of it of course.


Words have been shackled too. Sharing certain words (remember the Bible wasn’t translated into English until John Wycliffe gave his life to it – and upset the Pope very badly into the bargain – back in the 14c). Sharing political words, ‘subversive’ ideas – saying the unsayable – have all at times, carried the risk of dying for a belief. And still do in certain religions and parts of the world. Even a child who states something that they believe to be true that is in opposition to a parent’s point of view risks a stern word or even a smack.


The pattern I am talking about  is that by creating laws and taboos, beliefs and social acceptability over sex and speech, (including  art, writing,music, dance, and all similar forms of self-expression) it is life itself – the great expresser – that wishes to pour through us into the manifest world – that is being – has been – repressed. Increased stress follows repression. Depression follows repression. Misery follows repression. And sometimes, rebellion.


May 2012 bring a new flowering of life to you, whoever you are, wherever you are. Freed from the lies that bind you, and constrained and contained by only the desire to do no harm, to live with love and respect, may life pour through you so that you can experience and express all that you came here to do. Relax, laugh, love and enjoy the craziest ride in the Universe!

  • Thank you dear Debs. Sending heartfelt love and big hugs your way. Blessings for the New Year!

  • Dear Debs,
    you are magnificient in exptressing the beauty within you as well as the beautiful person you are. You are defenitely an exceptional woman that I hope someday to see even if just for a minute.

    Best in 2012